Meet The Brown

It's Thursday everyone, which is a fun day for me on Discovering Sarah, because I get to rant! Woohoo! Ranting is the bestest! It's like free therapy, which we all need on occasion (if you say you don't need therapy, you are probably the #1 person who needs therapy).

Anyway, the topic of the day is Chris Brown.

Mr. Brown, WTF is wrong with you?! Were you abused as a child? Did your daddy hit your mommy? Were you not breastfed as a baby? Are you a Taurus? Why are you so angry? I loved you so much when you first arrived on the scene, and (to be honest) I still do. It's kind of a guilty pleasure. You have ruined my ability to listen to your music with a clear conscience.

It is not OK to beat your girlfriend! Even if she is the aggressor. Just walk away, for the love of Pete! It is not OK to throw chairs through the windows of dressing rooms, cuz you were trying to release some frustration. Punch a pillow, write a song, go for a walk, get some booty...

...not that booty! Pirate's booty! Geez you guys have a dirty mind.

IDK, I'm not a psychiatrist, but I know there's gotta be better avenues to release a little steam than the ones you're going down.

Chris, you are a role model. You are a cute, young, black man in America. Can you at least try to set a good example for our youths? They need you. We need you.

OK, so this kid isn't exactly black, but do you know how hard it is to find a black child wrapped in the American flag? It's actually kind of disheartening.

I would love to live in a world where I could appreciate the gyrations of a man that is way too young for me without a heavy heart. You were Runnin It hard in the music industry before you started Poppin Rhianna in the face. That was horrible, but now you've both said Dueces to your relationship. You don't have to relive that experience Forever. When people are trying to Take You Down, just Crawl from Wall to Wall until you find a way to get back up. There are lots of Beautiful People who would love to be With You and get a little Kiss Kiss. You just need to Transform yourself and say “Yo, Excuse Me Miss”.

It'll happen for you. No Bullshit Chris. You're not Superhuman, but I'm sure if you learn to Say Goodbye to your anger, you will one day be able to smile at all your adoring fans and yell, “Look at Me Now!”